My Self Confidence Journey
Self-confidence and self love have always been very…interesting, to me. I actually don’t really think I understood the true meaning of self-confidence until a couple days ago. Yes, I definitely had it, but I didn’t realize how much it actually positively affected my interactions with both myself and other people until recently.
Of course, self-love and self-confidence tend to go hand in hand. I feel like that’s a pretty common belief, and I would have to agree. Except I don’t think you can have self-confidence until you have the self-love part down. To me, self-love starts with working on yourself internally. The way your thoughts and behaviors impact you, and what you can do to grow. Self confidence then shows in the way that you exhibit that growth, consciously or unconsciously.
Personally, the past couple of years have been tough. The situations I have been in have almost required me to build that self-confidence. I think it was at these points it almost just came naturally. I grew to just stay positive. I know that sounds like “toxic positivity” but that’s not what I am talking about. I’m talking about believing with absolute certainty that everything will work out. And all of this came with feeling my feelings. The self-confidence came because I allowed myself to feel whatever I needed to feel with that confidence, whether I was absolutely devastated or the most ecstatic being in the world, no matter how small or big the feeling was. If I was confident about the way I was feeling, then I was confident in knowing my true self. It came with not allowing my feelings to dictate how I saw myself. That’s all they were, feelings always pass. You have to let them pass through you and not become you. And of course it’s scary, it’s always scary to look within and call yourself out on your wrongs and your rights, but that’s the only way to truly know yourself. When you make a mistake, recognize the mistake and move on. Don’t disregard any accomplishments no matter how small they are; they are just as important. Then you become confident in everything you do, everything you say, and you don’t even realize it.
The other day, I was meeting up for the first time with a new friend. I was nervous, obviously. Why am I nervous? I’m confident in myself. Of course they’re gonna like me. After about 3 minutes of hanging out all those nerves disappeared and I realized, I wasn’t nervous about whether they were gonna like me, I was nervous about whether I was gonna like them. I already knew that they would enjoy my company, as they did, and I knew that because I was naturally confident in myself the entire interaction. It became really easy.
Just feel what you need to feel as it comes. Don’t fight your emotions. It will create a certain kind of peace in you that only you can form. Care for yourself like you would your best friend, and everything will come with ease.