Why I’ve Chosen 2022 as the Time to Focus on Myself - The Age of the Tinder Swindler

It's been a while since the Tinder Swindler documentary came out but it's still top of mind for many as they approach dating. From having my own swindler type of moment last year, to listening to friends with their own terrible dating stories, it just seems like this process isn't getting easier. Yet every time I meet my local aunties, the first question they ask is "When are you getting married?". I don't even want to get into the reasoning for why this is such an insensitive question to ask someone, because we all know it and those of us who don't are never going to learn. For a while this question REALLY bothered me and sometimes if asked on an off day, it still does bother me. 

Currently I have friends in two buckets -- some are in long term super happy relationships, getting married etc. and some are just single. There's no one in between. And a lot of us are super frustrated with dating as a whole. 

So since only my single friends were in tune with what's been hard about this whole process, instead of focusing on why other people wouldn't understand, I decided to change my mindset. 2022 was my time to focus on me, fully. My health, my existing relationships, my growing career, travel and more. Here's why:

• One of the most annoying things that my married/ taken friends have said to me in the past is "Stop looking, it'll come when you aren't looking". I've always thought that it's easy for them to say, but honestly when it came to this year, I had so many goals and things I wanted to do for me that this sort of went hand in hand with what I already had planned. I am a control freak and naturally want to control anything but with something like dating and relationships, it's virtually impossible for me to control what happens. So this year, I am choosing to let that aspect of my life take a little bit of a backseat and let whatever happens, happen. 

• I am just busy. This isn't to glorify "the hustle" or anything of that sort but personally and professionally, because we are in this "new normal" now so many events are back in full swing. I have a ton of weddings, milestone birthdays, celebrations, and professional events to go to this year along with things to plan. I want to focus my time on those people and growth opportunities, to make the most of these. 

• My mental health. It was a huge stressor honestly having to think about the fact that I am single or not getting married or just all of it as a whole. This isn't to say I don't think about it at all but since being okay with focusing on myself, its been a huge relief not to actively have to think about it all the time. 

• Finally being able to heal from a kind of traumatic incident. From being in a super uncomfortable situation last year, I realized that I needed to go back to learning to just being okay by myself so I could actively spot glaring red flags. When you are so blinded by the stress of finding someone, you tell yourself to be okay with things that really aren't okay. 

• Taking this time to be the best and happiest version of myself. The pandemic made me really look at my life and figure out what I wanted to change, who I wanted to keep and cut out and how to become the happiest version of myself: mentally, physically and emotionally. This all takes time and because I have been given the time, I want to take advantage of this. 

So here's to 2022 filled with a ton of adventures, new and old friends, family and happy (and some sad) memories! 

Want to submit your own editorial piece to our blog? Email our editor with your piece below and we might just run it!