Why I find journalling difficult

DATE
02 May 2025
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Mental Health, Wellness

Why I find journalling difficult

May is mental health awareness month. With that, if you’ve read any of my other blogs you know one of my favorite topics is the treatment of mental health as a commercialised issue, with extremely tangible (and sellable) ways of healing. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely things that are proven effective with research, but my problem lies in people treating these solutions as a one size fits all.

Journalling I find especially difficult. To me, I’ve never really understood it as someone with an incredibly active internal monologue. I hear my own voice, and even other peoples, in my head all the time. I think in words. And I think in images and moving images. My imagination and capacity to mentally picture things is incredibly strong.

The day I realized not everyone thinks like I do, where some people can’t visualize things (which is called aphantasia) or think in words, I remember being dumbfounded. It finally clicked why some people benefit form journalling when, for me, it’s always felt largely unnecessary or extraneous. The practice of naming what you’re feeling has never worked because feelings have always just been words.

For more context, I sit at squarely at a 1. I visualize things in a hyperrealistic way.

The way I think has meant, for the large part, I know what’s “wrong”. I’ve always been able to think through reasons why I’m feeling the way I do. People throw around the phrase “intellectualising our feelings” a lot, but it is something I resonate with. I didn’t realize that people experiencing chest pain from sadness, or feeling heat rush through their body with anger wasn’t just evocative imagery, but actual experiences of feeling those emotions. Because of the way I think, I’ve deprived my body of actually feeling…anything.

 

This isn’t just for negative emotions. Similarly to people being able to feel sadness or hurt or anger in their bodies, I never realised how much I truly lived outside my body when I was asked “where do you feel happiness” by a therapist. Some people describe it as a warm glow in their chest, or a bubbly feeling in the ribs. To me it was always just…knowing I felt happy? But really examining that statement, I realised that me relating to someone saying all of these evocative phrases was a feeling of empathy and not just a response to good language.
The point that I’m getting at with this, is that journalling has always felt like an extra step in understanding what’s going on, but that wasn’t what I needed (and still need).
 
Somatic practices like texture play, breathing, exercise and growing more comfortable in expressing myself have been huge in getting myself to feel emotions more.
 
Healing isn’t linear, and learning what works for you and what doesn’t is a key part in everyone’s journey. If journalling is something that helps you thats great! If you find it difficult like me, it might be worth considering something else until you find what sticks.
 
Some things I like to do to get out of my head include:
  • Painting or drawing
  • photography
  • listen to music (and do NOTHING else)
  • stretch/ dance/ exercise depending on how active I feel
  • Cook food or experiment with fun drinks
 
All of these things help me “sink” into my body and get out of my head. Does journalling work for you, or is there anything else you like to do to help you feel more present and at ease?