I totally am onboard with the online identity the South Asian diaspora have unanimously crafted for themselves. We have our fashion influencers and beauty gurus, twirling around or painting their faces to Bollywood songs, all the way to our thirst trap tech or finance bros, redefining the male heartthrob and capitalizing off their 9-5, during their 5-9. We have our trailblazing entrepreneurs in food, media, CPG, marketing, fashion, finance and more, all jumping off the corporate ladder to run their own. Everyone is being invited to mainstream, visible spaces, along with creating their own.
Everyone’s story has some reference to how “our parents came to this country so we could do what they couldn’t”.
But you know what else our parents’ couldn’t do?
PARTY.
Partying, (especially for women), is TRULY living the dreams of your ancestors. I am literally the first woman in my family to be able to party in a city all night long with no ifs, ands or buts about it. And with that privilege, I take it very seriously.
And with all the online presence I see, I think about all the NOT partying that is happening. I’m talking about real partying, where you’re just having care-free, exhilarating fun and maybe doing some things out of your comfort zone, just because you can… not “partying” at brand events or doing it for content creation. Sloppy partying that isn’t aesthetic or on brand, but truly for the sake of a good time.
Don’t get me wrong – you can do both. I remember attending a supper club where it was an intense set up, all day thing and the manager was working her butt off. But we had come to find out that we both attended the same rave the night before… the difference was that she threw up and showed up at her early morning call time whereas I got to sleep in and roll up to the event.
Are you genuinely still free if you’re still afraid of disappointing your parents or not being able to give them every single thing they’ve ever done for you back? In my humble opinion, no amount of success that allows you to give them the materialistic gifts they never got, will make up for their unimaginable sacrifice. Trying to pay back their sacrifice in full is a losing game and one they never intended for us to win (even though sometimes they definitely can make it seem like it).
What I do think comes close to repaying that, however, is our unfiltered joy. Our joy is part of the generational return on investment.
I’m not saying that partying is the only way to honor what they gave us—but if you’re doing it, don’t guilt yourself out of enjoying it or try to add productivity to it in order to justify it. Fun isn’t always frivolous – it’s revolutionary in the context of who we come from.