Over the course of like a million years, men have been conditioned to suppress emotion. Whatever the reason, now we see men who express and communicate emotion in a healthy way as effeminate or less-manly. Broadly speaking, it’s taboo to show that you’re sad or happy in any other context than sports, death (someone else’s), marriage (your own), or the birth of a child (either way).
Eventually I think the goal for men is to be open with loved ones, but a lot of men aren’t there yet. I can say that I’m not! I have a long way to go too.
But then what is the alternative? How can we bridge the gap? Journaling! By writing down things and getting them on paper versus leaving them stuck in your head.
I’ve been journaling consistently for about 2.5 years, and honestly it was a struggle to get myself to do it regularly, but it has definitely helped me a lot. It took me a long time to figure out how to get started and more importantly how to stay consistent. The best journaling method is whatever works for each individual person.
Here are the things you need to consider to create a strong habit.
The Medium
The first thing you should probably figure out is how you’re going to journal and where it’s going to live. The 2 main buckets would be physical and digital.
Physical is easy: pen and paper, in a notebook.
Digital can get complicated. It can be anything from a Google or Word doc, to a notes app doc, to an app that you pay a subscription for, to even Apple Health that has a mood tracker. I actually think that Apple also released a native journaling app earlier this year.
Personally, I use pen and paper. I like the act of writing things down, it just feels more real to me. It feels like I’m physically pulling thoughts out of my head (a la the Pensieve from Harry Potter).
Occasionally I also like to flip to my entry from a year ago and see what I wrote, and I like the physical act of being able to flip through a book.
My setup isn’t all that fancy. It’s a Pilot G-2 07 pen ( glides so well) and a regular spiral notebook that I got for free from a previous job.
The Timing
After you figure out where your thoughts are going, you should figure out when you’re going to put them there and how often.
This doesn’t seem important, but the whole point is to commit. Throw it on your calendar, set an alarm, or reminder, because especially starting out, you will forget. I still forget sometimes.I have a daily reminder set for 9 PM. Some people like to do their journaling in the morning to work through their anxieties for the day. I’d rather power through and write a self-assessment at night, and I feel like I have more concrete things to write about after the day is over. I’m just not a morning person so I think I’d skip a lot of entries if my reminder was set for 9:00 AM.
I try to write everyday. Even if I feel like I did nothing, sometimes I’ll start writing and actually realize I had a lot of thoughts. Doesn’t matter, the point is to get it out.
The Content
Lastly, figure out (in really broad terms) what the content of your journal is going to be. This doesn’t mean figuring out the literal words you’re going to use, but more so figuring out what internal questions you want to answer.
Some people really respond to journaling prompts. Things like “What does love mean to you? How would you describe it to someone else?” or “Why haven’t you taken a risk recently?” That’s great! It may even be a good starting point. For me, these prompts have always felt like homework. It led to me dreading journaling and skipping a lot of entries.
Similar to above, a lot of people use Daily Stoic Journals. These are awesome when you want to do the literal minimum amount of work. They have all the prompts, with a calendar, and ask you to journal in the morning and again at night. It’s kind of like an accountability journal (with some reflection mixed in) in that in the morning you talk about what you want to accomplish, and at night you say if you accomplished it.
I’ve always felt as though when I have a prompt, I need to write a certain amount even if I don’t really have much to say. The minimum that I force onto myself really sucks all the motivation out of the act.
Instead, everyday at 9 PM I strive to answer 3 questions: 1) What did I do today? 2) Did I feel a certain type of way at any point of the day for any reason? 3) What am I grateful for today? This format really works for me. Sometimes I write a page and a half, but mostly I’m writing like 5 sentences. It usually goes something like: “Sunday – 11/9/25 – I did this at work. After work I did this. I did go to the gym so I feel a little bit accomplished. Today I’m grateful for King Sooper’s Mini Cinnamon Rolls.”
In closing, I’d give 2 final notes:
- Don’t overcomplicate it and don’t try to get too fancy. In my experience the more barriers I added to my process, the less likely I was to actually journal. Grab a pen and some paper, pick a time that 9 times out of 10 you’re going to be awake and relatively coherent, and talk about your day and say one thing you’re grateful for.
- Be honest and don’t try to be performative in what or how you’re writing. This is only for you bro why are you writing like random people are gonna read it. If you can’t be fully honest with yourself, we got deeper issues to work through.
The whole point is to build up a good habit. We want to be preventative. Start now and build it up so that when something happens, good or bad, happy or sad, there is a built-in, go-to outlet.
