Hani:

My 30th was a few weeks ago and it was not what I imagined it would be… in the best way.

A couple years after COVID, I went on two 30th birthday trips—Tulum and Chicago—for friends who were a few years older. They were fun in the moment, but I started to feel myself outgrowing my “party girl era.” The more group trips, bachelorettes, and vacations I did, the more I realized I’d become the chill friend—great for everyone else, not always great for me. I went with the flow, I said yes, I compromised. And on trips I was paying a lot for, if I finally voiced a preference, it didn’t always land. Sometimes I’d still get dragged along.

This isn’t a dig at my friends—I think we all get a little too comfortable with the people we love. But it did make me clear about one thing: that was not how I wanted to turn 30.

Keeping It Small On Purpose:

I didn’t grow up with big birthday parties. People were always traveling over the summer, and I learned early I don’t love hosting or being the center of attention. My parents always made birthdays feel special in our own way—midnight cake, family dinner, low-key joy. We still do the cake (even if the last few years I’ve been asleep or on work travel).

So when people asked, “Is it a dinner? Are we going somewhere?” I honestly didn’t have an answer. I felt both content and like something was missing—so doing nothing felt easier than doing the wrong something. If I did anything at all, I wanted it to be just my immediate family.

Cue my dad and his Disney timeshare. He found a last-minute Mediterranean cruise—seven days, four Italian cities. If you know me, you know unplugged vacations have been the only thing that truly reset me since starting my business. It felt perfect

The Plot Twist No One Ordered:

Two weeks before we left, I got the stomach flu. Then, once I recovered, I got COVID. On my actual birthday, eight hours into a flight to Barcelona, I was struggling to breathe, sleep, or get comfortable. It was the opposite of glamorous.

And weirdly, that’s when the shift happened.

Being forced to slow down and accept help (hi, family MVPs) made the whole trip softer. I wasn’t chasing a perfect itinerary or a perfect birthday. I was just… present. Coffee on a balcony. Wandering without an agenda. Saying “no” when I needed rest and “yes” when it felt right. It was simple and it was exactly what 30 needed to be for me: quiet, grounded, and mine.

What 30 Taught Me (So Far):

• • You can be the “chill friend” and still have preferences. Going with the flow is lovely—until it erases you.

• • Keeping it small is not settling. Intention beats spectacle, every time.

• • Rest is a real plan. Not a reward you earn after you do everything else.

• • Family rituals age well. Midnight cake hits at any decade.

• • Your milestone can be messy and still be perfect. Illness, delays, pivots—and still, joy.

If you’re planning a milestone and feeling the pressure, here are the three rules I followed: 1) Define your non-negotiables (mine were family + unplugged time). 2) Plan for your energy, not your Instagram. 3) Say the quiet “no.” You don’t owe a performance to start a new decade.

Thirty wasn’t louder. It was lighter. And that’s exactly how I wanted to begin.

Swati:

Where to begin… first of all, it’s very important to know that I am a Leo and have always taken my birthdays seriously. Turning 30 was no exception. However, I completely flipped the script on what a birthday extravaganza normally looked like for me.

Having a summer birthday always meant that my friends were free to congregate and celebrate. I’ve lived a few different places so it always felt good that my birthday was an occasion for all my friends to take time out of their normal routines and travel for a good time! Last year for 29, I rented out a bar in Bushwick with my best friend and threw a joint birthday party as his birthday is 2 days after mine (29 & Fine, iykyk).

Given the amount of effort that took, I began to reconsider the whole original big group Euro trip idea. I knew that asking people to essentially pay for an international vacation was a big ask, on top of being a busy adult, where planning the whole ordeal just seemed unfeasible. I also did not want to foster resentment, as even though I was aware not everyone could come, I knew I would still feel disappointed as people inevitably slowly backed out.

So that led me to usher myself into my 30s with a ton of flights, walking, beer, accents, and laughs as I solo traveled for 3 weeks across 4 different countries. I saw a lot of amazing art and fews, met a lot of incredible people and gained even more perspective. I turned 30 across the world, with one of my best friends and 2 strangers, that made me feel so special. So many bittersweet moments and I would not have had it any other way!

Turning 30 this way made me realize how lucky I am to be where I am at this age. Age is truly just a number and I have never felt younger. I have now embraced who I am and what I want and that epiphany alone is worth all of the mistakes made up until now. The world is really my oyster and there’s no reason to attach any preconceived notions to what is just another decade of life. After all, it’s all of our first times living so why make it any harder?