As a college student going to university in the UK, sometimes it seems like im the only person around who doesn’t enjoy clubbing. Not that I am, there are plenty of people who feel the same.
It seems like a basic concept – people are allowed to enjoy different things. But the surprise I receive every time I turn down going out with people is a lot more than I was expecting. After all, pre’s followed by clubbing seems to be a right of passage in so many people’s first years.
I’ve always joined in on pre’s when I could. One of my first year flatmates always made a point to invite me to the kitchen before going out with friends, because she knew that I love playing card and board games. I’m really appreciative of that consideration and inclusion. They were a great excuse to bring out games like Cards Against Humanity, Exploding Kittens and even more aggressive ones like Throw Throw Burrito depending on how big the group was.
Recently, I spent the Christmas period with my partner’s family for the first time. Intimidating, right? My main bonding activity with them ended up being playing endless rounds of Trivial Pursuit or Articulate or teaching them to play Monopoly the way my family does (aggressively).
These moments of playing games with others that I want to know better have been so valuable to me, and have made me reflect on the role play has in forming connections to other people. I feel like I learned so much about my partner and their family through playing games with them, as something about the way people, and groups of people choose to play reveals so much about their character and dynamic. I was able to find a natural way to feel included, in a way that didn’t seem forced or overly energy zapping.
I think a lot of people feel like playing games is childish but so many of the games I have mentioned in this blog are games that include people of all different ages. They are opportunities to talk to and laugh with people in an organic way. Hate small talk? Try playing a game next time you’re meeting or hanging out with people you’re not too familiar with.
There is a trend of viewing small talk as trivial, where people would rather opt for more ‘meaningful’ conversation from the get go. But that’s impossible!! And small talk IS meaningful and so important for forming bonds quickly. If small talk really isn’t your vibe, I truly truly encourage whipping out a fast paced card game like snap to get people going, or suggesting a board game the next time a hangout seems to be getting to a quiet point.
Overall, what I’m trying to say bring back playing games (and not just drinking games)!!
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